Pause.

Finally I started my mamaledighet (maternity leave), it has been a long run since we found out about the pregnancy and I absolutely couldn’t go further with the stress I was bearing. So, in a word, relief!

This morning I read a friend’s post about life, it says life is simple. If you are happy about your life, continue what you are doing, if not, change something and then come back and ask yourself again the same question. Are you happy?

I have been unhappy for a long time, and was unable to change what I was tied up to due to financial concerns. It is a pretty sad thing to enslave ourselves to some shit just for the worries of losing a stable income. And worst case is you get stuck for years running between A and B like a robot.

I remember knowing a young Swedish guy at a local grocery shop near my old apartment, he once ran into me and started speaking pretty ok Chinese, lately I was so shocked to find out that after 4 years he was still working at the same shop. He apparently doesn’t have any language or discrimination issues finding a better position in this country. Is it his own will to remain at the same place? There are also cases of people stuck at 7-eleven for over 10 years. I personally find this scary, lack of vision and ambition. This is the least thing I want in my life.

So I really need to use this period to prepare and reposition myself, I need to find my own direction, and then work towards it. Everything happens for a reason, in this case, I am very thankful for being pregnant, it gives me the opportunity for a pause without worrying about finance. It also gives me the opportunity to take a pause and spend more time with Arielle. I owe her that.

One more month to go until the big drop, this is the last chance to relax and enjoy before getting busy with late night wakeups and dipper changes again. Even to some extend I very much look forward to it, I remember how it went last time, the suffering of lack of sleep actually stimulates a lot of potential out of me, I pulled through studies of over 100 HP while nursing a new born. This time I will definitely do the same. Let’s see.

向Amalfi Coast进军！

 

        我这几天老想起来去年在法国度假的时候，住的I‘lsle la sorgue那个小镇上的时候结识的一个面包店的女老板，她是个美国人，向来被骄傲的法国人嘲笑为愚笨没有品味的美国人，但是她不光在这个以古董闻名的传统小镇上立了足，还开了家让热衷并擅长bakery的当地居民万分肯定的面包房。每天早上当我和托马斯学着法国人的样子提着编织篮去面包房等新鲜的面包的时候，总是看到好几个已经排队的法国老头老太跟女老板热情的聊着，而对我们眼里总是流露着对不入流的游客的不屑一顾。
        
        这看起来是多么不起眼的一个故事，但是我最近才悟出来一个道理。在瑞典的这5年里，我百分之60的精力都在数落瑞典的不好，还有对比我的国家所缺少的东西，而忽视了那些美好的情节。我想，如果我一开始就抱着开放的心态来接受所有的不同，那今天的状态可能就完全不同吧。不知何时我才能像那个面包房女老板一样，在一个异国他乡，做上本地人擅长的事，并且得到本地人的肯定？

        不过现在悟出来道理也不晚，我现在的心态有很大的改变，即使在这暗无天日冰天雪地的冬日，也没有被周围人的阴霾 心情所打扰。比如在公司吧，其他的同事跟我一样对公司有很多不满，都想换工作，可是不同的是，他们都是连连抱怨却毫无行动，在冬季淡季无事可做的时候总是一边抱怨工作一边抱着电脑看连续剧，而我很清楚自己想要什么，然后为达到目标必须要做什么，并同时在付诸行动时刻准备着。我记得刚开始来公司的时候，瑞典语还不够娴熟，经常怕说错所以很小声，手心还冒汗，我同事就会在旁边吼，蕊，大声点，大声点！而现在的状况是，遇到刁钻的瑞典客户，他们都会脸面上佯装镇定，嘴角却很恐慌的小声低估问我：她在说什么？她在说什么！

        当然啦，我并不是说我自己有多么了不起，我身边有太多优秀的中国人，自己开公司的，在爱立信做到部门经理职位的，我不敢自持清高。我对自己向来都是鼓励的，贬低我的工作就交给我爸妈好了。也有看不惯我的人贬低我，不过我真的不在乎你们的看法。所以不必浪费口舌。

        2012年的时候，我很疯的出国游了7次，其中伦敦两次，布达佩斯一次，阿姆斯特丹一次，普罗旺斯一次，国内和香港一次，芬兰一次，所以我基本上没有存到银子。2013年元旦的时候，我给自己的新年誓言就是，今年不到处乱跑了，要攒很多很多银子，跟我老爸说的一样。但是鉴于老公这两个月加班挣了很多大洋，投资的股票也升了好多，外加上他现在节食减肥省了很多伙食费，所以我给他个表现的机会带我去意大利度假。我们在再三斟酌后，把目的地定在了Amalfi Coast。

 

Amalfi是以美丽的海岸线闻名的，沿海岸线的小镇都是依山而建，风景非常夺人。我们初步计划在Sorrento停留3天，然后以这里为基地来游览周围的城市Pompeii，Positano，如果可能，Capri。然后我们再搬到Salerno，以它为基地，游览附近的Ravello, Amalfi, Praiano等等。选择Salerno为结束点是因为它有直达罗马的火车，那样我们可以很容易回到罗马。

        这都不是最终的计划。说实话我是想去西西里岛的。但是朋友都极力推荐这个地方。只好下次去西西里了。在网上搜来几个Amalfi Coast的图片，我去了后一定会拍到更美的！

Come away with me

上个礼拜，在我的鼓动下，老公假借工作之名，拖着我和妞妞一起北上去了Mora看Norah Jones在著名的演唱会场Dalhalla举办的一次个唱。这次个唱我苦苦等了两年，这两年中每个月都会去她的主页盯一下有没有排演唱会tour date，其实就算她不来北欧，只要是在欧洲范围内的任何一个国家，不管多大花销行程多么麻烦，我都坚决会去的。

Dalhalla这个演唱会场是四面环林，环山，环水的，自然环境地理位置都超级赞，音效当然也是一般会场所不能达到的。难怪Norah没有跟一般大明星一样很庸俗的选在斯德哥尔摩的Globen体育馆，而是定在这样一个能天然和音的地方，对于听她的很jazzy的风格简直是点睛之笔。

除了看演唱会以外，另外一个很大的收获就是去参观了一个当地有一百年历史的生产加工达拉木马的手工作坊，Mora就是著名的瑞典达拉木马的发源地之一，当地有几个很大的家庭产业，家里代代人都是做这个的。我们去的这家，年轻力壮的男人们在做最初的成形，雕刻，女人则做上底色和后来的精涂细画，每一站都看下来，不得不说，以前真是低估了达拉马。

妞妞跟这匹马儿一见钟情，怎么都不愿意下来了。后来只好买了好几匹小马儿把她给哄下来了。

这里的价格一般要比斯德哥尔摩的低一半还要多，所以我把握机会买了好多东西，有手工雕刻的海鸟，木把儿的叉子，还要切菜板，插kitchen paper roll的那种底座，木质的储物分类盒，等等。

后来回来斯德哥尔摩我那个后悔啊，真应该多买点，因为我的那只鸟，85克朗的，在我们公司对面那家scandinavian design卖到800少5克朗哦！坑爹坑游客啊！

 

 

Batman VS Monster handen

Arielle and Thomas is playing a new game lately, it is a battle between batman (Arielle) and the evil character monster handen (Thomas’ hand). Arielle tries hard to form a batman mask with her hands in order to scare off monster handen, and Thomas tries to bite Arielle with his evil hand. So unfortunate that I couldn’t share the videos because Arielle was in her dipper. But I assure you if you were there to see those two screaming at each other, imagining they were dangerous beasts, you would be tearing up the same as me.

The family joy is one of few things that keep me cheerful lately since it hasn’t been well with the other categories in life. Especially work, I grew more and more irritated with it, and after the 5000 SEK event in which I was ripped off of my whole year bonus, I have given up all my hope in it.

Even so, I am telling myself to temprorially ignore the unpleasant actions that were taken against me and remain positive, look at the bright sites, keep doing my best until I find another place to settle. I mean, there is no need to be angry or depressed or make your last period sufferiable when you know you have to hang around here a while longer. And it seems working very well with injecting tranquilizer to my emotion.

I became this happy and energetic person at work, I no longer take customer’s rude comments personal because I simply do not care. They are angry at the company’s thievery actions, not me. I will do anything my boss tells me to like a robot with a standard “yes sir! no sir!”, I try to be this fake but formal & polite worker that the boss cannot pick any flaws out me. I await for my right timing and opportunities to strike!

Just wait and see, batman is not scared of monster banden!

Back in the Zone!

Geez, how long it has been since I published the last log! Work and baby has taken a lot out of me, naaah, actually only work has taken a lot out of me, baby was actually my energy buzzer during the past half year.

Niu Niu has grown a lot, hard to believe that she is already 3, a big girl now! She is very expressive already with what she wants, what she has done at dagis, and her weird logic and stories, and one thing worth mentioning, I have been living in Sweden now for over 4 years, and she has only been living in this world for 3 years, despite these facts, her Swedish skills has exceeded mine a long long time ago. Very often I have to put down all my pride and go to Thomas and ask for translation of some words and comments.

Oh, not mention that Niu Niu has been correcting my grammars and pronunciation, ok, let’s put down the pride, still, she shouldn’t have gone to day care and tell everyone that mamma doesn’t speak Swedish. Hey little one, for your information, mamma DOES know some Swedish, just maybe not as good as yours!

🙂

A super pampered little princess and her genius work!

Reading is one of her favorite activities, especially bajsboken and totte book, these are two of her favorites. Pretty good taste in literature, isn’t it? Haahaa. Some of her bajsboken disgust me so much I can’t even finish a single page, but she will just laugh and laugh and read all over again.