Finally I started my mamaledighet (maternity leave), it has been a long run since we found out about the pregnancy and I absolutely couldn’t go further with the stress I was bearing. So, in a word, relief!

This morning I read a friend’s post about life, it says life is simple. If you are happy about your life, continue what you are doing, if not, change something and then come back and ask yourself again the same question. Are you happy?

I have been unhappy for a long time, and was unable to change what I was tied up to due to financial concerns. It is a pretty sad thing to enslave ourselves to some shit just for the worries of losing a stable income. And worst case is you get stuck for years running between A and B like a robot.

I remember knowing a young Swedish guy at a local grocery shop near my old apartment, he once ran into me and started speaking pretty ok Chinese, lately I was so shocked to find out that after 4 years he was still working at the same shop. He apparently doesn’t have any language or discrimination issues finding a better position in this country. Is it his own will to remain at the same place? There are also cases of people stuck at 7-eleven for over 10 years. I personally find this scary, lack of vision and ambition. This is the least thing I want in my life.

So I really need to use this period to prepare and reposition myself, I need to find my own direction, and then work towards it. Everything happens for a reason, in this case, I am very thankful for being pregnant, it gives me the opportunity for a pause without worrying about finance. It also gives me the opportunity to take a pause and spend more time with Arielle. I owe her that.

One more month to go until the big drop, this is the last chance to relax and enjoy before getting busy with late night wakeups and dipper changes again. Even to some extend I very much look forward to it, I remember how it went last time, the suffering of lack of sleep actually stimulates a lot of potential out of me, I pulled through studies of over 100 HP while nursing a new born. This time I will definitely do the same. Let’s see.